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REVIEW: Motorhead Ace of Spades 10 Function Vibrating Bullet

 

Specs

Price: $24.99Packaging

Brand: Lovehoney

Material: ABS plastic

Features: body-safe material; 10 functions (3 speeds, 7 patterns); submersible

Circumference: 2.75″

Length: 3.75″

This plastic has a strange satiny matte finish to it, which is nice to the touch. It’s the standard shape and size for bullets, meaning it will fit most bullet holes in dildos, and the size makes it a bit finicky to hold sometimes. With small things, I tend to have a death grip, and this makes the vibrations travel into my hand more easily.

For a battery-powered toy, the batteries are easily accessible and the bog-standard AAA’s that you can pick up at your local Quick-E-Mart for a few bucks. The battery life is nothing to write home about, but neither does it tend to die quickly.

There’s a little ring of silicone around the lip of the cap that keeps the toy waterproof (a nice perk at such a low price point), but it might fall off and be lost forevermore if you don’t watch it when you unscrew the cap. It’s not exactly difficult to dismantle

The patterns are numerous and begin to all blend into one, but I think they might be based on guitar chords? That just might be wishful thinking, though.

The Ace of Spades colour/pattern is black with silvery gothic writing on it, while the Overkill seems to be more shiny with a silver body and art in a more tattoo style. Either way, I’m a fan of the non-traditional look and it’s a great looking little guy. The packaging is a sturdy cardboard backing with the same black and silver “rock ‘n’ roll” motif that took fifteen minutes of wrestling with scissors to open up.

 

My Thoughts

My very first vibrator is considered by many to be the King, Queen, and Court of vibration power that can be crammed into a bullet. This makes it difficult for me to judge other vibrators because my bar is set so high. There’s also a $50 pricetag difference, which is both a positive and a negative.

I’m sure if I didn’t already own a Tango and Magic Wand Original, I would be all over this, but I do. And so, I’m not. I mournfully eye my Tango from across the room, but then resolve to try to give this one another chance.

It’s not bad. But it’s also not particularly great.

However, it’s a lie. It’s great marketing and packaging trying to sell a tin can full of bumble bees as a vibrator. The vibrations buzz happily into my hand and within a minute or two I’m feeling “funny”, but any much longer and I can no longer feel the lump of flesh on the end of my arm, let alone my clitoris. My labia feel like a half-cooked slab of meat. Definitely a sexy image.

According to the world that is Twitter, there are clits that like buzzy vibes. Mine doesn’t. The frustration of trying to get off with a buzzy vibe makes me violent.

HandBut, if there is one glowing coal of hope in this smouldering pile of buzziness, it would be the patterns. I love vibration patterns. I’ve always known I’m in the minority and I know a lot of reviewers mock the patterns, but I crave them. We-Vibe’s patterns are all marvelous and I regularly get off with the waaaaaAAAAAaaaaave, but the Motorhead ones just blow them out of the water. If there was enough power or rumbles behind them, I would adore the vast variety of settings. Appropriately, the patterns remind me of guitar chords or brief snippets of music, as if the vibrator is tutting and humming at me. There’s enough variety between them all that my clit doesn’t numb nearly as quickly as with the steady settings.

For the first little bit, before they numb me, the vibrations aren’t terrible. They’re more powerful than I thought they would be. They can get me about 30% of the way there, being a safe and reliable warm-up to bigger and better, and allowing my body’s arousal to catch up with my mind if I’m having one of those days. I might be able to orgasm on one of the more elaborate patterns or the highest speed, but they remind me a lot of getting off with my own fingers without all the joy that pressure brings. I need pressure to get off and as soon as you apply pressure, buzzy vibrations go poof like Houdini. The stimulation is very surface-level and there’s so little build-up to the orgasms; they remove my craving without actually satisfying it.

And my clit deserves better.

 

Care and Storage

ABS plastic is a great body-safe, nontoxic, non-porous material, as it conducts vibrations the best and is completely rigid, allowing for pinpoint stimulation easily.

Being fully waterproof, you can run it under the tap with some antibacterial soap or toy cleaner to wash away any muck. Even if it’s not very linty, you should keep it in its own bag, alongside the current battery, which should not be left in the toy.

Since the clit does not lube itself, a drop of your favourite water-based lube wouldn’t go amiss. If you plan on accompanying it with a silicone toy, you still need to stay clear of silicone lubes, for fear of the drips.

 

Conclusion

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While this one made me angry, I recognize that there are lots of people out there for who this would be their perfect bullet. If buzzy vibrations are your thing, this one has power behind it, a cacophony of patterns, a solid battery life (and doesn’t run off pricey watch batteries), a good-looking casing, and provides very pinpoint stimulation. If you need pressure, deep vibrations, or broad stimulation, the Motorhead brand is not for you and you should save yourself the frustration. Because I do need these things, I wouldn’t feel good giving it a broad recommendation, but it’s a good toy and well-priced for the audience who would love it.

 

I received this toy from Lovehoney in exchange for an unbiased review of its performance.
Thanks, Lovehoney!

Buy At These Sites

Lovehoney US | Lovehoney UK

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